I have recently been promoted to 30 something club. Call it God’s will or Nature’s cycleomania. I feel blessed. Not many people achieve this but I am here healthy, happy and moving ahead. Thanks Allah, God, Christ, Bhagwan….

Are you one of my club-mates? If you are then you may understand some of what is coming next. If you are younger…brace for some kick-ass fact check, if you are older, then I will brace for some hard-facts from you guys. So here I am 30 something and here is my out pouring.

1. Family …numero Uno, Duo, Tres:

There is no running away from the fact that once you are in the prime of 30’s, family is, will and should be priority numero uno. This is true especially if you are male. Not that I am sexist but most of females in this group are likely by social norm-scale already well into family routine. I am married with no kids. Kid(s) will be coming across the horizon. Afterall the very nature of us all in the animal kingdom is to survive and mate and start a lineage. Am I ready for the new tag of dad / pops / papa ? Well let me take you back to the time when I was about to be married. At that time friends said now get ready for the tags of husband / hubby? Kinda sounded funny but with time it slowly sank in and well now we get introduced as Mr and Mrs _____. So the tag of paternal nouns shouldnt be such a great issue. Uh..oh but I missed something here. I got married to a grown up person, and we both have taken our time to getting used to each other. But hello world! Kids are on a different level all together. Here I have to be ready to nurture a tiny tot who would be a blank sheet and draw on him/her the map of future for the child, for us and for the entire lineage! Now that my friends is a big ask. Till yesterday I had problems sorting my room. Waited for parents to do this, and now as the bitchy destiny has it, the tables have turned around. DA(d) get ready for the treatment [my parents laughing out LOUD somewhere]

2. All work and no play, makes Jack a secure boy:

Enough of checking out the iPhones, the gizmos, the fancy speedsters, the guzzling Prados/Pajeros/Jeeps, the hip joints, the floors. They are fantasy my boy. The money is for future. Since the 20’s to 30’s eating in the house has been a treat. Driving around in flashy chic cars has been the norm. Armanis and Rolexes have been the mirror image of my personna. Now…Damnit..I am 30+ and that according to UN is 35-40% of life flown by.  I have another 30 years or so to make a living, save for family (younger and elder), and then retirement. Get the books out my dear we need to plan our lives financially. Every fils [penny] will have to counted, every shall-have-it list will become could-have-it or rather sin-to-have-it list. Wake up at 6 a.m. off to your car cursing every SOB that crosses your lane, stay at work, slog at work, brownnose higher ups for that glimmer of bonus or increment. Stick to the job, do not get tempted by every failed entrepreneur to strike gold at this-that opportunity. Stability is sign of success. There is no looking back, no looking left-right…just look ahead at that carrot dangling and run after it. You shall attain security.

3. All play and no Exercise makes Jack a sick boy:

I love my couch, I love the burgers, I love the pizza, I love the air-con travel, I love corporate luncheons, I love the cigar…but do I love myself? As they say walk the walk and talk the talk of a man. Stupid me forgot to walk in last 10 years. stupid me huffs n puffs climbing to 1st floor via the stairs, stupid me loves the game of soccer on telly not on the field. Growth is good but not on the body. Those curves are sexy on beach babes, not around my tummy. Get off the bed,chair,couch..and get on the cycle,treadmill,the beach son. Life has been a party so far..and I better change my lifestyle or I will go off like a inflated balloon pricked by the tiniest of pins…POOOF and the World will clap with amusement at the fate of a MAN gone with a Big Bang of totally wrong types.

4. My threesone…friends, family, and colleagues:

Trin trin…time 2am…”Dude..wanna go out for a smoke?!” …Yay…vrooooom vroooooom. Beep Beep…time 1pm…”DA…office people are off to lunch, wanna join?”…Yay…munchhhh….munchhhh. Silence….”Honey..we are supposed to see aunt/uncle/grandpa/grandma today”…silence…silence…curses. God gave me one brain, and one heart.. God also recently gave me friends, family, and colleagues. I get 24 hours in a day…8 hours of play, 8 hours of work and 8 hours of sleep. But WTF is wrong with me…how come I get stuck juggling between friends, family and colleagues. Because some of my colleagues are friends, some of my friends are family and some in my family are aliens. Each group in their royalty demands undivided attention, each group demands utmost love, affection and loyalty.I cant ignore one for the fear of being outcasted. I have to please them all at the same time. Where do I stand in between all? Right in the middle..in the middle of cross-fire.

5. God..I am commmming:

SLAP SLAP….this is not a porn movie. I am reaching out to God here. The holy book used to be a curiosity cruncher till sometime back. Holy places were episodes on National Geographic. The call to prayer used to be an excuse for a break. No more! I have begun to fear the highest one not for my sake but for everything around me, related to me, and ofcourse I lied…me. No more skipping the all important religious occasions, they have to be attended with family in tow. Need to understand that God will pardon me for my sins…only if I pray with true heart. Calm will prevail if I pray to God for it. Spirituality is creeping in me by the day..maybe because of fear of losing something precious…or maybe because I have grown up

So my club-mates, do I sound like a bongo drum beating my chest out to raise the alarm…paranoid…ranter. Deep inside you know there is some of you in one of these. If you are nowhere, I would love to hear from you. Give me the magic recipe too.