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Wow..just wow…if only I could have one of these, would just make my day!!!
SIMPLE DUTIES
* You make the bed…..+1
* You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows…..0
* You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets…..-1
* You leave the toilet seat up…..-5
* You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty…..0
* When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex…..-1
* When the Kleenex runs out you use the nex t bathroom…. ; -2
* You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings…..+5
* In the snow …..+8
* But return with beer…..-5
* And no liners…..-25
* You check out a suspicious noise at night…..0
* You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing…..0
* You check out a suspicious noise and it is something…..+5
* You pummel it with a six iron…..+10
* It’s her cat…..-40
AT THE PARTY
* You stay by her side the entire party…..0
* You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old drinking buddy…..-2
* Named Tiffany…..-4
* Tiffany is a dancer…..-10
* With breast implants…..-18
HER BIRTHDAY
* You remember her birthday…..0
* You buy a card and flowers…..0
* You take her out to dinner…..0
* You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar…..+1
* Okay, it is a sports bar…..-2
* And it’s all-you-can-eat night…..-3
* It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and you r face is painted the colors of your favorite team ¦.-10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
* Go with a pal…..0
* The pal is happily married…..+1
* The pal is single…..-7
* He drives a Ferrari…..-10
* With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)…..-15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
* You take her to a movie…..+2
* You take her to a movie she likes…..+4
* You take her to a movie you hate…..+6
* You take her to a movie you like…..-2
* It’s called Death Cop III…..-3
* Which features Cyborgs that crush human skulls…..-9
* You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans…..-15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
* You develop a noticeable pot belly…..-15
* You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it…..+10
* You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts…..-30
* You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.”…..-800
THE BIG QUESTION
* She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
* You hesitate in responding…..-10
* You reply, “Where?”…..-35
* You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”…..-100
* Any other response…..-20
COMMUNICATION
* When she wants to talk about a problem:
* You listen, displaying a concerned expression…..0
* You listen, for over 30 minutes…..+5
* You relate to her problem and share a similar experience…..+50
* Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying, “…well, what do you think I should do?”…..-100
* You have fallen asleep…..-200
IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
* You talk…..-100
* You don’t talk…..-150
* You spend time with her……-200
* You don’t spend time with her…..-500
* You seem to be enjoying yourself..-1000
GAME OVER. YOU LOSE.
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right…its not everyday that you get a chance to try to break a record of sorts. Shopping around in City Center Salmiya, we decided to to drop by at CheeBurger, and I on some god-forsaken whim, opted to try out the 1 pound monster burger. 10 minutes into the order, the monster arrived cut in half, with additional fillings and double patty dressed in cheese plus four olive pricks to align and fix the whole lot in one place.Now people this burger has 1 pound of patty and the total bulk of burger buns and toppings are additional.
First bite into the first half, and one would realize that it would take monster of an effort to dig in to this beast. The burger was juicy, with flavors flowing through, and adding Jalapenos in toppings definitely added a punch to this delight.The trick to eating monster burger is to gulp down the first half as fast as you can. If you are a slow eater, sorry you are no game for this. The reason being the burger is enjoyable as long as it is hot/warm and juices are flowing. Once the burger gets cold, taking a bite through those double pattys would seem like biting on a leather bag. First half went down in couple of minutes. Took sips of coke to wash down the first half, and then took a deep breath and started gnawing on the second half. This is where things turn and tumble and the muscles in your body from your jaw to your stomach fight back. Woops..couple of bites into the second half and I knew I was in for a fight. And this is the time you realize that adding cheese to the lot, is not a good idea. Anyways…took atleast 10-15 minutes to slowly chew throught the rest of it and voila saw the final bits disapear into the abyss.
The deal at CheeBurger is that once you finish the monster, they hand you over a giant stuffed toy 1 pound burger, and take your picture. So got my pic taken by the crew…and I believe its should be hanging on the victory wall at CheeBurger by now.
Well I am a certfied 1 pound killer machine…would I do it again? Nopes…that one attempt and victory is gonna live with me for the rest of my life. Should you try it? Yes…but a caution..this is not for the weak hearted or kids. This burger punches you straight where it hurts most…your tummy.
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