Hillarious experience of an American Expat in Dubai
April 30th:
Just got transferred to work and live in
beautiful Dubai, UAE! WOW!!! Now this is a city that knows how to
live!!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. It’s like New York
City minus all the crocks, murderers, and drunks. What a place! I
watched the sunset from a deck chair on my beautiful bedroom verandah.
It was beautiful. I’ve finally found my home. I love it here.
May 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 95 degrees today. Not
a problem. Live in an air- conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned
car, and everything is fully air-conditioned. What a pleasure to see the
sun everyday like this. I’m turning into a sun worshiper.
May 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants
today around our lovely pool. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to
maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love
it here. Heat is no problem at all.
June 10th:
The temperature hasn’t been below 95 all week
even during the night. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At
least today it’s kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is
taking longer than I expected.
July 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns
over 90% of my body. Missed 5 days of work. What a dumb thing to do in
this lovely city. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol’ sun
in a climate like this.
July 20th:
Kitty (our cat) sneaked into the car when I left
for the office. By the time I got to the hot car for my lunch break,
Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up
the $60,000 Audi. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells
like Wiskettes and cat shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in
this heat.
July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant fucking
hair dryer in here!!! And it’s hot as hell. The home air-conditioner
died. The fucking AC repairman charged 500 Dirhams just to drive over
and tell me it was broken in fucking Hindu English or some language that
I couldn’t understand.
July 30th:
Air conditioner still broken. Been sleeping
outside by the pool for 3 nights now because it is 7000 fucking degrees
inside. Bloody 2,000,000 Dirhams house and we can’t even go inside. Why
did I ever come here? Fuck the sun. Fuck the wind. Fuck the freakin’
ocean. And fucking locals walk around dressed in white tablecloths
followed by little black female ninjas. Fucking crazy town.
August 4th:
It’s 114 fucking degrees today. Finally got the
ol’ air-conditioner fixed. It cost 2,000 fucking Dirhams and got the
temperature down to 25, but the fucking humidity makes the house feel 30
fucking Dubai degrees. Stupid terrorist repairman. I hate this stupid
fucking place.
August 8th:
If another local wiseass cracks, ‘Hot enough for
you today?’ I’m going to fucking whack him all the way back to his
goddamn desert. Fucking Dubai; by the time I get to work with all that
fucking traffic and heat, the car’s radiator is boiling over, my clothes
are soaking wet, and I smell like a baked cat!!!
August 9th:
Tried to run some errands today because it is
fucking Friday. Wore shorts and sat on the black leather seats in my
Audi. The seat was so fucking hot I thought my ass was on fire. I lost 2
layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my fucking
ass. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and a baked cat.
August 10th:
The weather report might as well be a fucking
recording. Hot, humid and fucking sunny. Hot, humid and fucking sunny.
Hot, humid and fucking sunny. It’s been too hot to do anything for 2
damn months and the weatherman dude wearing the fucking white tablecloth
on TV says it might really warm up next week. Does it ever rain in this
damn fucking place? What is next, a fucking hell freezing over wave?
August 14th:
WELCOME TO HELL!!! Temperature got to 120 today.
Now the air-conditioner’s gone in my fucking Audi. The fucking Audi
serviceman said, ‘Hot enough for you today?’ Fuck him and fuck Audi. My
wife had to spend the 7,000 Dirham to bail my ass out of jail for
assaulting that stupid fucking Indian bastard wiseass. Fuck Dubai ! What
kind of a sick demented fucking idiot would want to live in this shit
hole?
August 15th:
Fuck this place. I’m off back to New York.
hmmm,,Interesting,,,very interesting,,,,LOL!!!!!!!!
I really am not sure if this is a joke or not. If so this just shows how impatient Americans (esp. New Yorkers:P) are, this gets them ahead in business but gets them nowhere when dealing with anything else. I used a lot of stereotypes here :))
This is the main problem with you Developed country peoples.Try to look over the outer world dear,what about the people who are working in astere temparatures?Try to acclimatize to the climate.Pls Stop Ur Racial abuse.Live in real.Better luck for next assignment whereever u go in this beautiful world.
If you don’t like the heat in Dubai just leave and go back to New York where it gets to 5 below during the winter and snowy miserable weather for 6 months. Not to mention the crimes and the boring life.
LOL, What a pussy. I guess you should spent some time here in Nevada and Arizona before go chasing $$$ in there
I gotta agree about the dumbass f@cking indians, they can’t speak any english, constantly scratch their groin in public and generally cease cooperating with you if you ask them to do anything more advanced than a two syllable request.
Not all Indians are like this, but whatever region they export this particularly dumb uncivilized tribe from should be banned.
witness
@witness: I believe this article was about an American..not an Indian.
I believe the emirates people are doing a good job making a nice life style in Dubai . I like Dubai but it has many problems as long as indians do many jobs there . I think the best solution for Dubai to remain a nice place to live is to get rid of all stinky indians filling all jobs and doing very bad in any position they are . yes, they are cheap but i ask the UAE government to think why they are cheap . because they dont know how to do a job well and they are not welcome in any part of the world . so, save Dubai , dont let it be the second new delhi .
So much hate so much bias so much ignorance! I wonder if the Forbes list of the top ten wealthiest people in the world which has four Indians featured in it and still counting, has anything to do with the dumbass comment from witness and others of his tribe.
Here in Kuwait itself you will find Indian blood to feature prominently among many merchant families of Kuwait and they are not going to take to this entry very charitably.
I was in Dubai a few weeks ago. I was sitting in TGI Fridays restaruant in Emerites Mall. Three god damn loud as usual Americans could be heard talking.
One said “There are not many fellow Americans here but boy have we given this place design flair”
Other replied ” yes man, we lead the world in design and fashion”
I was going to butt in but what was the point? BRAIN WASHED PEOPLE or what? They believe anything their bullying government tell them.
For all you delusional Americans out there, fashion starts in Paris, it goes through Europe, you eventually get a bit of it in NY. That is why David Hasslehoff is still seen to be trendy in US.
The only fashion that came out of Americans is the baggy jeans gangster rap look - very useful!!!
WHY?
Hello White Asses,
Whatever you think about Indians…why do your run to Dubai to see the wonderland made by a huge contribution from Indians. Just accept the fact that Indians have good brains, and your country is still fighting to keep the Indians out of IT related jobs just because you cant compete their efficency. You as*****s have just huge bodies with shit inside head.
As an indian who has lived in the US for a few years this post is a sad reflection of American attitude towards - well everything that doesn’t fit his/her narrow view of life and the world. The author was trying to be funny here although he needs to rework his sense of humor
ps: Using the word “fuck” before in every sentence does not make things funny
Anyway, Americans are either trying to change people who migrate to their country into being an “American” or trying to change people who’s countries they migrate to into being “American” because the whole world is a big “fucking” canvas which needs a fresh paint of red, white and blue. And while we’re at it the EAGLE could take a dump on it.
As for “Witness” we just witnessed your stupidity calling migrant indians a tribe and what not. Are you from the US and thinking about eradicating another tribe like the other “indians” back home?
Enough said!
Its typical for an American to judge every other living thing on this planet earth to be below him in all aspects. They conveniently ignore any achievements and/or contributions made by all other human beings and consider them insignificant.
if this place doesn’t have indians then it would been a desert for ever. Asians have contributed so much to make it DUBAI !!!
FUCK YOU DUMBASS MOTHERFUCKING AMERCANS.
F YOU REDNECK, IN-BREEDING INGRIDS HAD A CHANCE TO LEARN ABOUT YOUR OWN HISTORY, YOU WOULD HAVE LEARNT THAT EVERY AMERICAN (except the american-ndian) IS A FUCKING MIGRAINT FROM EUROPE.
DO YOU DICKHEADS EVEN KNOW THAT YOUR OOOOHHH SO BELOVED STATUE OF LIBERTY S A GIFT FROM THE FAR MORE CIVILIZED FRENCH.
YOU’LL ONLY HAVE A COUPLE OF MORE YEARS OF SUPER-POWERHOOD, AFTER THAT TS OUR TURN FOR THE NEXT CENTURY.
WE INDIANS ARE DECENTLY TOLERANT, BUT YOU SONS OF BITCHES KEEP PUSHING & PUSHING….
Well I tried the whole FUCKING kill them all thing and it doesnt work. But the Americans called me bad. Look at Bush and what he has done in Iraq! As for Indians they work hard same an anyone who leaves their homeland for work! America needs to stay HOME MIND HER BUS AND GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WORLD! All America produces now is SLUTS like Paris Hilton, letting their old die their young die and anyone who cant pay. Dr’s in America will kill you by not treating you. Oh America is so GREAT. Maybe 60 years ago but not now they are a bunch of brain dead morons who could not fix their own country up before they tear down another. So get the fuck off of people of color maybe a BLACK in your WHITE house will turn your ASS around!
LOL wow these posts are hilarious. I just stumbled upon this website because I wanted to see what American expats thought about their experiences in Dubai. Im an American and I pretty much agree with the American bashing. Its unfortunate the way we come across to the rest of the world. Not sure if things will change anytime soon but seriously not everyone in this country is a piece of shit. Some of my best friends in this country are from Bangladesh, France, Turkey, Kuwait, Syria, India, Iran… to name the few, so this “close minded Americans are a bunch of fucks” is completely stereotypical. Definitely not offended by the American bashing. LOL these posts are absolutely hilarious. Thanks for the laughs.
90% of INDIANS in Dubai are a from the Indian State of Kerala, down south in India. While in abundance in the Gulf, fortunately they are a rarity in other parts of the world and also in India itself. These guys are born and bred to work in the Gulf it seems to me.
Most Americans are BRAIN DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The only thing that excites them are UP sized BIG MACS
and KENTUCKY FRIED.
All they can think about is where the next EFFF is coming from!!!!!!!!
So really, where can I get a look into the lifestyle and living conditions of an American looking at a position in Dubai? One I would never eat at TGI Fridays, two my pants fit correctly, and three I don’t UP size my meal or even eat Big Mac’s. Although I would not go so far as to say “far more civilized french”, what with the whole deodorant thing. All stereotypes and opinions aside, could anyone direct me to a website or blog where I might get some useful information on schools, shopping, living conditions, etc.? I am looking at a construction position and would like a reliable source of information to do a little research. Plus I’ve lived in New Mexico and would never buy an Audi so as far as unrelenting heat and sand, been there done that. Thanks for any help.
You should all stop with the race bashing. This guy thought he would love Dubai but he was wrong. Cherish what you have. I thought it was hilarious the way his blog changed from paradise to misery. I myself can not wait to see Dubai. Every culture has good and bad. If we are focused on the bad we miss the good. Only a small minded person will not admit there is both in everyone. Peace Out!
Fuck Dubai! It’s a land of open bigotry and racism…
Social exploitation is also an additional issue!
From an American…
The guy was trying to be funny but yes, he should have not made any racial comments. I have been in the middle east for quite some time and I have seen other races or nationalities being racist towards other races and that includes the indians being racist to other races.
Like Johnonymous said but the middle east is a land of open bigotry and racism. Social expolitation and among other things like human traficking and other things.
So quit your bitching and change the way you are if you want to make a difference in this world.
what my dear American Brother has written, I strongly agree. He has mentioned only about the temperature and did not mention anything about the house rents, traffic condition, saliks, other fees, human rights. Accomodation at labour camps, rented accomodation for small employess( 15-20 people in a 10ft*10ft room(100 suare foot), etc……….etc………etc………………
What did you expect dumb ass, you moved to the desert. It’s called the desert for a reason. It’s hotter than hell and no matter what man made tools you use, the heat will burn it all to shit. Should have done your homework. It’s been this hot here for millions of years. Anyway, you had me laughing my ass off. Didn’t really appreciate the racial comments but this shit was funny. I’m sure one of those Indians you encountered wrote a blog about your dumb ass too.
Leave your response!
About DA
Subscribe to newsletter:
Bookmark
Explore ChillNite.com
Classifieds
Jobs in Kuwait
Kuwait Telephone Directories
Currency Rates
Stocks News Stock Info
Archives
Explore
Random Posts
Latest Video Post
Recent Posts
Most Commented
Most Popular